Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Not Funny Any More

This Saturday is my school's Open Morning.  

I have to attend.  

No ifs, no buts.

I wrote it on the kitchen calendar as per our arrangement.

Hubby had written on the kitchen calendar that he had school football, as usual.

I thought about various possibilities for what would happen to daughter and in the end I arranged that she could come to work with me and help with the bubble demonstrations that I do in our department.

Last night I told hubby that she was coming with me on Saturday to my Open Morning.

You know, in case he was wondering what was going to happen to his daughter.

"Actually my team don't have a match on Saturday, I just thought I would go and watch the first 11 play at Chester"  he admitted.

Of all the sneaky, underhand, unhelpful things....... writing an engagement on the calendar that doesn't actually exist and leaving me to sort out childcare so that I can go to work!


K Ville said...

You seem quite calm about it. This confuses me!

If it makes you feel any better I also regularly sail in that boat as you know. I don't understand how they can be so 'this way'. I don't even know if it's selfish, it always leaves me so incredulous, almost empty. It's hard to describe.

K Ville said...

I left you a comment last night but I suspect my laptop ate it, but I've been thinking about this again today. I think it's time to make a stand. Izzy would be safe if totally abandoned at her age (I'm not suggesting you do that, honest) so why not next time tell Hubby it's his problem and leave it at that. Have Izzy primed to know not to panic if left alone but I'll have odds on your OH sorting it out. They do what they do because we bail them out every-time. Sometimes you have to let things fail. Izzy at home wouldn't be the end of the world, it's probably time you can let him fail without dire consequences to her. It's not fair that they drop these balls like this on the mum.

Working Mum said...

Hi Kelloggsville
Thanks for your comments. The reason I can appear calm about this is that there's no point getting mad. Also, i can't use your solution of leaving Izzy to him because she is always with me (literally always with me; she comes to my school and is always where I am) and he goes off to do things he wants to straight from work without coming home, so I don't get the chance to get out of the house first.

I think the fundamental problem here is how male and female brains work. My husband doesn't think he's being selfish, he just thinks that having a child shouldn't stop either of us from doing things we want to do. He wouldn't mind in the slightest if I said I was going off on a trip for a week with a girl friend, or going off on a cookery weekend or something. He'd think that was great. My brain wouldn't consider it.

So, I need to be clever about this. I have to get into the male psyche and work out what will make him think of Isabel before himself.

At the moment I'm taking the tack of doing lots of lovely things with her when he's not there so he feels he's missing out. Last week it was breakfast in a local cafe, at half term Izzy and I are going away without him. I'll see if it works.........