Thursday, 15 April 2010

Party Poopers!

I am again seething at the apparent inability of some parents to respond to party invitations.

This year daughter is having a pony riding party which I booked in February to secure a party booking. The farm had asked me to confirm numbers as soon as possible so that they could book another party if I didn't need many ponies. Fair enough.

So three and a half weeks ago I sent out the invitations for my daughter's party.

Also, learning from last year when several of the parents didn't reply, I wrote on the invitation "RSVP by 12 April" with my e-mail address, landline and mobile number. Plenty of opportunity to let me know.

I thought that gave everyone enough time to sort out what they were doing and let me know. Most did.

However, by 12 April, four had yet to reply.

I texted them to find out if their child wanted to come.

Three replied immediately.

I waited until this morning and then confirmed numbers with the farm.

THEN I got a text:

"Sorry, we've been away and I didn't have your number. X would love to come"

I was so tempted to text back:

"Sorry, replies were due by 12 April, no ponies left"

What I really wanted to say was:

"You've had the invitation for three and a half weeks. You had one and a half weeks before X broke up from school to reply. You've had another two weeks since then to reply. You've used your holiday as an excuse. And now you want your child to come pony riding? Get real, woman. If you want your child to attend a party, reply to the invitation. It's only polite!"

Instead, I phoned the farm, begged for another pony and then texted the mum:

"So glad X can come"

Are these parents rude and thoughtless, or am I over reacting?


xoxo... t said...

Definitely not overreacting!

Muddling Along Mummy said...

Not overreacting - its just plain rude to ignore RSVP dates and to assume that people will just be able to slot you in

Jen said...

Not overreacting but to be honest, there will be at least one like that every year so for the sake of your health, don't get too upset!

Kelloggsville said...

Rude and thoughtless. and aren't they always the ones that giggle "oh, I'm so scatterbrained" or friends go "oh, that {insert_name_here}, she's such a laugh but never organised" - well I say "GET ORGANISED AND STOP MESSING ME AROUND" - see you're not alone in being REALLY ANNOYED about it!!!

Kelloggsville said...

ps - sorry for that - guess you touched a raw nerve!!!

auntiegwen said...

Send her a bill, say as she didn't reply in time you had to book an extra horse and it cost you £xxx extra, go on Carol, I dare you :)

libby said...

Yes....rude, thoughtless and infuriating...and you responded as we all do, smiling through gritted teeth and 'making things right'.
But just think of it as something you are doing for your daughter and take pleasure in her happiness on the day.

Working Mum said...

Jen - you are right, I need to learn to let go, but I just don't see why they should get away with being so thoughtless

Kelloggsville - don't apologise, I'm so glad I'm not alone in this

AG - Wasn't another blogger asked to pay for her son to attend a party recently, Family Affairs, I think. I just couldn't!! I think I will get my reward when my daughter will be invited to her daughter's party (to which I will reply immediately, of course) and she won't be shunned because of her uptight, organised mother!

Libby - you are such a good soul!

Maggie May said...

You are not overreacting. It is so rude and uncaring.

Nuts in May

Suburbia said...

I do understand, and I have had the same happen, it is annoying, however maybe X had not emptied out her school bag until after the hols? Benefit of the doubt?!

Iota said...

It is rude. But yes, there will always be a few, so I agree with other commenters re your mental health!

And you never know what is going on behind the scenes in someone else's life. There might be an ill elderly parent, a bereavement, job anxiety... You just never know.

Working Mum said...

Suburbia - I think that's toomuch benefit. The invitations went out well before the kids broke up and as five year olds, the parents empty their bags every night as there is homework every night!

Iota - that's why parents like me just smile sweetly and fix it; you do never know what's going on in the background.

Littlemummy said...

Sometimes I think it is rude and a lack of respect for others.

However as a parent there's always a lot going on and sometimes we're guilty of forgetting something or letting something slip.

In my opinion once is fine, repeat offending is just rude.

Anonymous said...

I think it's probably realistic that lots of people have very busy lives, as you so clearly state with working full time and having the one child. Could it not ever be possible for it to be a total oversight on X's mothers behalf as juggling children, holidays and work may lower the chances of your daughters party being that families number one priority??

Working Mum said...

Anonymous - I might consider your point if you deigned to leave a name to it .

Margeeth said...

After I found out a lot of people just don't know what RSVP means I don't use this on an invitation. That could explain the parents who responded right away to your e-mail. The parents who used their vacation as an excuse were downright rude.

Feather on a Wire said...

Goodness, I REALLY must let go. This post stirred up so much resentment and my daughter is now 21 (grin).
Be warned it doesn't ease off, I remember her 18th (though this was down to the kids) and only half responding within 2 weeks of the party. One lad who had not responded turn up at 10pm in casual clothes despite the dress code even though it clearly stated carriages at midnight.
The good news for her 21st someone lent her their 8 bedroomed 'cottage' (I use the term loosly) and she had 26 of her firends stay the weekend. Phew!

scrappysue said...

they're rude and thoughtless. manners just ain't what they used to be