Monday, 26 January 2009

Pantomime Problem Revisited

Remember the Pantomime Problem?

MIL wants to take daughter to pantomime with her other two grandchildren, but I have reservations about a septegenarian taking three very young children to theatre alone.

Well, the story continued..............

Firstly, I discussed my concerns with husband. I chose my moment; just after we'd returned from a trip the the Bridgewater Hall with daughter who had wriggled away from husband in the throng in the foyer and incurred his wrath. So he knew what I was worried about.

He said, "I understand your concerns"

Good start.

To cirucmvent the problem of tackling MIL about it, I asked him, as he set off to a City match, to ask his sister (who would also be at the match) if she was going to the pantomime with them.

He came back from match.

"Did you ask her?" I enquired

"No, I forgot" was his reply.

Okay, that's no help, then.

Yesterday we went to MIL's and, while we were sitting having a cup of tea, she asked again if Izzy could go to the pantomime with her.

"Er, well" I stalled, whilst waiting for husband to jump in and take over the conversation.

He didn't. He had his head fixed on some football on the telly.

"What do you think?" I asked him, digging him in the ribs.

"Yeah, fine" he said.


"What did I ask you about?" I said

"No idea. Wasn't listening"


I bit the bullet:

"Is there anyone else going?" I asked MIL

She mouthed the names of the her other two grandchildren. Why? Why does she do that mouthing and spelling thing? Intensely irritating and totally unnecessary.

"Any other adults?" I enquired, as tactfully as I could, knowing that she could read my mind and realise that I didn't trust her.

"Lisa's going" she replied.

Husband's sister. What a relief. A responsible, alert and active adult to reign in wayward children. I agreed to the trip.

Later, as we got in the car to leave, I did the admonishing thing. I know I shouldn't, but I couldn't help it:

"Well, you were no help, were you?"

"What? Lisa's going, isn't she? Problem solved!"

Yes, problem solved, but I've needlessly added another nail in my "wicked daughter-in-law" coffin!


rosiero said...

Thank goodness for that. At least there'll be one adult with the kids, while another gets ice-creams in the interval or takes one child to the loo. I'd worry like mad, if it were just MIL on her own!!

auntiegwen said...

Scream, relax, breathe have a glass with me !

My ex MIL couldn't understand why I was worried about my BBD then as a baby not going in their car as they didn't have rear seatbelts ( it was a long time ago) the fact she'd hold the car seat carefully wasn't quite enough for me and my husband wasn't much use either, didn't want to "upset" her !!!!!

Sass E-mum said...

Lousy husband/football*

This story reminds me that I must read the book called 'Protecting the gift'. Apparently it confirms the importance of trusting your instincts.

* delete according to preference

gigi said...

Thanks for getting back to us on that story. I wondered what ever happened. So glad someone is going with her. I just wouldn't have let her go with out another adult. Husbands are no good sometimes :)

Suburbia said...

Hee hee! Wicked daughter in law indeed! I think she may have been biting off a bit more than she could chew though, if she had planned to go alone. Good for you sticking to your guns!

Maggie May said...

I had been wondering about that. Glad it is all sorted out without a dispute!
You sound a very tactful DIL. She is lucky to have you.

Mean Mom said...

A difficult situation, but well dealt with. My husband has sometimes abandoned me, in various situations, but, oddly enough, doesn't seem to mind risking upsetting his mother. I am generally nicer to her than he is!

Unfortunately, all in laws seem to border on the wicked as far as my MIL is concerned. Her children can do no wrong. Perhaps a lot of MILs are like this.

Tawny said...

You are way more tactful than I am, I guess that is the one advantage of K's dad not bothering to be in the picture!

I have sent you an award passed to me. I hope you like it


It's hard to strike the right balance at times to keep all parties happy

A Woman Of No Importance said...

I could go on about my own experiences, with my eighty plus year old pa-in-law; Perhaps I'll blog them some day, if the scars ever heal - What I want to say is, trust your inner maternal instincts - This is your precious child - Parenting was pretty different back when dinosaurs roamed the earth - Daughters in Law are meant to be demons, even if they are darling, which you is!

Anonymous said...

Lovely story, lovely blog. I came to you via Suburbia.

Tact is over-rated and generally takes far too long :)).


blogthatmama said...

I love the way men manage to 'sort things out' without any action..Hope Izzy has a good time.

A Confused Take That Fan said...

Aah don't worry about being a bad daughter in law, she probably didn't even pick up on it...
Husbands and their selective hearing...especially when it comes to their parents!!

Grumpy Old Ken said...

Came across your blog heaven knows where.Very good and interesting even to an old codger. Ex teacher and have a teacher daughter. You might like to visit my blog if you ever get time. (as if!)Pity about hubbies football team!
Have another daughter who has just moved to lytham to run a business. cheshire fascinates me, isn't it posh!

Reluctant Housewife said...

i think you were right to complain to your husband. He was no help! That would have made my head explode... very messy when that happens. :)

So glad your SIL is going.