MIL wants to take daughter to a pantomime. Normally I would reluctantly agree and then worry all afternoon. (Remember she's in her seventies, blind in one eye, bad back, can't manage stairs and yet is still driving - go figure!)
However, she wants to take Izzy along with her other grandchildren. Three kids, two under five. On her own. No other adults.
How do I tell her that I don't want daughter to go without mentioning the facts that
a) I don't trust her driving
b) I worry that she will lose one of them
c) I suspect she will leave two alone if one wants toilet?
I base these assumptions on previous experience of
a) my neice being driven around by MIL without being strapped in to car seat
(MIL thought it good enough for her just to sit in it, good job she called at our house and I put her straight)
b) my nephew (aged 18 months) standing crying at top of her stairs having climbed out of his cot while MIL sat in kitchen doing crossword saying "he'll settle down"
(she doesn't do stairs, not even to sort out crying grandchild, good job I arrived and sorted him out before he fell down the stairs!)
c) my daughter left in car at petrol station while MIL paid
(I know this sounds paranoid, but a friend of mine left her car for ten minutes once and came back to find her car on fire, luckily she'd decided to take her daughter in with her - NEVER, repeat NEVER, leave your child alone in car)
I can't tell her the truth and hurt her feelings. Don't say "go with her" or claim "previous commitment". She would definitely suspect something if I offered to go with and I'm a terrible liar. And it's too far in advance to claim previous commitment (I have said I need to consult the diary though, can I see a reason I would be busy on 21st February?).
Husband thinks his mum is still a young and sprightly sixty year old and can't see the problem, so he's no help. And we all know how safe he keeps daughter (click here to find out)!
Or am I just being over protective?