Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Nurturer by nature?

Daughter starts school tomorrow. I have been feeling quite anxious for a while, but every time I mention it to husband he says, "She'll be fine".

This has thrown up our different attitudes to parenting.

I worry. I think, "She'll fall over, she'll break her arm, she'll drown" and other such dramatic thoughts.

He thinks "She'll be fine, she'll learn, she'll be OK".

Is it nature? Are mothers more prone to these worries? Who is right?

Well, I am, obviously. To demonstrate my superiority in the 'keeping daughter safe' stakes just read this story from our recent holiday in Wales:

Here is a picture of Pembroke Castle:

(Notice the people on the ground on the left for scale)

See that tower in the middle? You climb to the top via a very long, dark, slippy stone spiral staircase. Daughter wanted to go to the top. I didn't. Husband said he would take her. I stayed on the ground and worried.

Now if you look quite carefully at that middle tower you can see two figures at the top. No?

How about a close up?

(Just compare to the original to see how high up they are)

Yes, that's husband and daughter at the top. Just before husband decided to lift her up to stand on the battlement for a better view!!!!

I dropped the camera and waved my arms about shouting "PUT HER DOWN, PUT HER DOWN"!!!!!!

It took me two days to get over the fright.

Is it me being overprotective?

* * * * * * * *

Just in case you're thinking "The weather didn't look too bad!", take a look at when we had our picnic:


Suburbia said...

Scary isn't it, the school thing I mean?! Nearly as scary as daddy dangling you off a high tower!
It doesn't seem 5 minutes since I took Tall Girl to school for the first time. Tomorrow she starts her first term in senior school. I'm terrified!
Hope all goes well for you both :)

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

very interesting, any connection between your daughter starting nursery...and then a picture of a you want to lock her in there for safety, cos in a mums world that's the only way....bring back the dark ages, where you could chop bits off (visit Family affairs for an interesting post on this) and where you could lock up tour bits..too!! will be fine, is more to the point actually!!

saz x

Nicol said...

I am the same way! I hate it when my dh will "throw" my daughter up into the air.

I think it is something that we are built with.

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Not at all over protective! I think I'd have changed my mind when they were half way up and would have run to the foot of the stairs and screamed "come down now!"

David feels that Mac should learn to be fearless and have a devil may care attitude. I worry that he will become too fearless and that his devil may care attitude will land him in trouble that his dear old mum won't be able to get him out of!

Reluctant Housewife said...

What a lovely spot.

I would have done the same thing if Hubby lifted one of the boys on the edge at that height. Scary. I can totally sympathize.

Mom/Mum said...

Not overprotective no. just absolutely-blummin-normal. hoorah for you! That same exhange would have gone the exact same way in our household. Daddy being all gung-ho and caveman about child-rearing (ie chucking the boys in the deep at the pool, waving from high buildings like your pic etc)and me being all emotionally led by it. It's the way we're programmed isn't it? Or that's what I tell myself when am accussing him of not caring as much as I, (sob, sob gulp gulp-of-the-merlot) do! and he's accussing me of worrying too much!

Claire Sutton said...

The two of you probably make a good team, one sensible and the other a risk taker, he'll push you along and you'll pull him back, it's a good combination. She needs both sides and hey, broken arms can be mended! Mind you, maybe I have this casual attitude as a mother of two boys!!!

Can Bass 1 said...

Oh my word! At least you wouldn't get sand in your sandwiches up there,

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

It is most certainly a mother thing. And from what everyone tells me it NEVER EVER goes away. My mother in law is in her 60s and still worries about her two - and she's started worrying about me like I'm her third child!

The Dotterel said...

I disagree. I worry all the time, and I'm not, nor have I ever been, a mother!