Today I was commentating on one of daughter's rocking horse races. This has now got terribly elaborate. I use the Disco Diva microphone to describe course, the going, the runners and riders, the jockeys' silks, etc before the race even begins.
Daughter always rides "Parsley" her Victorian rocking horse. Her biggest rivals are "Cinnamon" and "Oregano" (we go for a spice theme). It's always a close run thing with Parsley neck and neck with a rival. Parsley doesn't always win (an important life lesson, I think).
After the race daughter is interviewed in the paddock explaining why Parsley did/didn't win.
Today it was the Grand National at Aintree (we always choose a real course, sometimes it's The Derby, sometimes Ladies' Day at Ascot, sometimes flat racing from Haydock or Chester).
They negotiated the jumps (including Beecher's Brook), they made good time over the straights. Parsley was in the lead with Cinnamon close behind. It was nearly all over.
Then, at the final fence, Cinnamon fell!
The way was open for another victory for Parsley.
Suddenly Parsley was pulled up and daughter dismounted!
"Unprecedented behaviour on the course" I commentated, "What is happening? Parsley's rider has dismounted yards from the finishing post. What is going on?"
Daughter calmly told me, "I'm helping Cinnamon's rider get back on"
Get the feeling we've seen Disney Pixar's "Cars" too many times?