Today was a first: daughter went to the birthday party of a girl from her nursery. I wasn't keen. I've been holding off for as long as possible, but couldn't come up with a good excuse to miss this one.
So, after checking my blog for comments, I took daughter (and present for child I don't know) to local Scout Hut. Do I go or do I stay? Am I supposed to help? Do I have to make small talk with the yummy mummies? Birthday Girl's mum was lovely and said it was up to me. I thought, "Be brave. You have to let go." (I'm one of those overprotective mums; I won't even take daughter abroad on holiday for fear of illness, abduction, carbon monoxide poisoning, plane crash, etc.) So I left my phone number with Birthday Girl's dad and came home to spend the next two hours worrying if daughter OK. Did a bit of blogging; the meme that the Mother of This Lot had tagged me with. Then I went back to birthday party after an hour and found that daughter had obviously forgotten all about me in the excitement of the birthday party. I survived. I think it's a small step on the way to becoming a normal mum.
While daughter and I at party husband finally finished stripping (hold it!) the wallpaper off our bedroom. It has taken us two months! This is the longest we have ever taken to strip a room. I think we're slowing down after 'doing up the house' overload. Now we're waiting for the builder to do the stud wall then we'll be sanding and painting, probably until July.
This afternoon I 'did the finances' which means paying bills (increasing), checking on savings (decreasing) and worrying about the credit crunch (why did we treble the mortgage to buy overly large wreck of a house?). Did a bit more blogging - Reluctant Housewife has given me the 'Blog of Distinction' Award! Yaay! Then I got ready to return to work. Pencils sharpened, briefcase packed and that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Yes, it's that 'back to school' feeling. And you thought only pupils got it!
It's not that I dislike my job, I don't, I enjoy it. It's varied, interesting, challenging and rewarding. I just wish there wasn't so much of it! The start of term is like jumping onto a fast moving hamster's wheel whilst doing four other things with your hands. Most days I don't even go to the toilet at work, or, if I do, I sit there thinking "I haven't got time for this"!
It's such an odd existence: work 60 hours a week for six weeks then have one or two weeks off. It's like living two lives. And it's so funny how those people who say "but you do get all those holidays" wouldn't dream of being a teacher themselves! (I must admit that the long summer holidays are a huge bonus, they make up for the low pay and I wouldn't give them up for the world)
This evening I did a bit more blogging, writing this post, which will probably be the last for a few days as I go back to being working mum again, measuring my life in 5 minute chunks and trying to achieve the impossible dream of having it all. Now I have an extra problem: how am I going to fit in all this blogging as well?